Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012)

Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012) Movie Poster Release Date: October 23, 2012 (U.S. DVD) Directed By: Declan O'Brien Written By: Declan O'Brien Starring: Camilla Arfwedson as Sheriff Angela Roxanne McKee as Lita Doug Bradley as Maynard Simon Ginty as billy Oliver Hoare as Julian Amy Lennox as Cruz Paul Luebke as Gus Duncan Wisbey as Mose Radoslav Parvanov as One Eye George Karlukovski as Saw tooth Borislav Liev as Three Finger Kyle Redmond-Jones as Duputy Biggs The entire Wrong Turn franchise is all wrong, on so many levels, but ultimately that is why these films are so enjoyable, and ultimately so popular. Over time a few staples of the franchise have emerged, so going into Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines there are some things we expect we are going to get: 1) Great and ultra-dramatic opening gore scene, likely before the title screen comes our way, 2) Grotesquely deformed hillbillies who don’t really talk, but giggle and act goofy, 3) pots of stew cooking over an open fire with recognizable human limbs hanging out, 4) Extremely graphic and over-the-top gore, with a heavy leaning on practical effects, 5) No respect for the supposed hero of the feature, as characters can die indiscriminately, and 6) In the end, everyone dies except the hillbillies. Thinking back to the other franchises, it is possible that not every single one of these expectations were realized in every film, but that won’t be further clarified here in the interest of leaving at least something for new viewers to find out for themselves.

Wrong Turn 5 Review Logo Let’s go through each of these elements of Wrong Turn 5 in sequence. Regarding the “great and ultra-dramatic opening gore scene”, this film stays true to course, although if there is a primary complaint about the film it is that this particular scene is not quite as dramatic as the other franchises, which is disappointing because that opening scene is the primary reason many look forward to the franchise’s next installment. Who can forget Wrong Turn 2 when the reality star is cut in half, vertically… so awesome. Number 2, “grotesquely deformed hillbillies who don’t really talk, but giggle and act goofy” is a given for number 5, as without those guys they would have to just start a new franchise. We all know how continuing the Halloween franchise without Michael Myers worked out at the time… Number 3, “pots of stew cookinig over an open fire with recognizable human limbs hanging out” falls into the same category as number 2 above – this element simply must exist in a Wrong Turn sequel, and it certainly does in this case. But getting on to number 4, “graphic and over-the-top gore”, Wrong Turn 5 does a great job. It’s hard to imagine how each installment creator overcomes the difficult task of bringing something new to the gore equation for this franchise, but this one does it with some excellent dismemberments, burnings alive, a couple of folks being disemboweled (they must have needed to get their money’s worth from those pig intestines) and a great fiery electrocution that is a joy to behold. For those of you who appreciate Motel Hell from 1980, there is a throwback to the signature kill/torture method used in that film too. Wrong Turn 5 is very satisfying in the gore department. Wrong Turn 5 Hillbilly Shooting Arrow

Number 5, “no respect for the supposed hero of the feature”, is one of the greatest things about this franchise, and that trend is continued in this latest issue. Many of us watch a ton of horror movies, and take pride in being able to predict the winners and losers based on oft-used formulae horror movie norms, and to have that ripped to shreds before our eyes, only to then prompt a new analysis of the surviving characters to determine where they fall in terms of winners and losers, is a good thing and keeps the horror freak mind sharp. What about number 6, “everybody dies”? I’m not going to divulge that one. The challenge with any franchise is keeping it fresh in some way. How many films about deformed hillbillies capturing youngsters and eating them in the backwoods of West Virginia can there be before it just cannot go on? Wrong Turn 5 mixes things up a bit with the introduction of a non-deformed hillbilly serial killer who’s been hiding out in the woods for 30 years, played by none other than Pinhead himself, Doug Bradley. The addition of this different kind of character helps to keep this film from being a simple repeat of those from the past. It would have been nice to have a bit more set-up of his involvement, how he got tangled up with the hillbillies in the first place, where he’s been all this time, etc. etc., but we don’t need to get too nit picky. Let’s just say that there is so little set-up that it’s very noticeable, which is a pretty big deal as nobody going into this film is expecting Citizen Kane. Wrong Turn 5 Police officer picking up on chick On the plus side, this film as a ton more nudity and sex than its predecessors even dreamed of having. With three major sex scenes, each complete with full thrusting and apparent buy-in by the performers, this one beats all of the others combined in the nudity and sex department. The only thing between Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines and an X rating is a clever camera angle here and there… and perhaps a strategically placed bed sheet. For what it is, Wrong Turn 5 is a whole lot of fun. There are a million little things that will bug the crap out of you, so if you need anything other than a flimsy excuse for a bunch of deformed cannibalistic hillbillies to chop up and eat a bunch of college kids, then choose another movie to watch. If you are looking for gore that will make you yell out loud and a re-boot of the best part of Motel Hell though, this one just might be for you. 3.5

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